BOOKSDRAMA Chapter 176
Chapter 176 Chaos Again
Evelyn
I couldn't hold back any longer as the silence stretched between us, thick and suffocating. Jacob wrestled with the words
hovering on the edge of his lips, but my patience had worn thin. The storm of emotions swelling in my chest was unbearable I
needed him to speak. I needed answers. At least to end this storm in my heart, the pain that threatened to break me, and hurt
me more with each second passing.
"Because?" The word slipped out, barely louder than a whisper.
Jacob turned toward me, closing the space between us with agonizing slowness. His face hovered just an inch from mine, but I
couldn't bring myself to pull away. I didn't know why. Maybe I didn't want to.
"Because I don't want to force my feelings on you," he murmured, his voice gentle as his hand reached for mine, our fingers
intertwining. His other hand rose to my cheek, the warmth of his touch sending shivers through me. "I've overstepped every
boundary you've tried to set. I didn't give you space to breathe. I was everywhere, even when your wounds were still raw. I
thought I was helping, but instead, I made everything worse."
His eyes, deep and full of regret, locked onto mine. "I know the weight of my mistakes. I know I pushed you away. I ruined the
best thing that ever happened to me. And all I want, more than anything, is to have you back. But I won't force it. I won't use our
attraction, our sexual desires, or your weaknesses, to manipulate you. If I get you back, it has to be through love, not
desperation. I'm willing to wait, no matter how long it takes, for you to find yourself again and maybe... find it in your heart to give
me another chance." He lifted our entwined hands, pressing a soft kiss to the back of mine.
life."
Tears glistened in his eyes, and the sight of them twisted the knife in my chest. Guilt surged through me, overwhelming and
relentless. I wanted to say the words he needed to hear, but something held me back-a boundary I couldn't cross.
Cameron. I couldn't hurt him. Even though I didn't love him the way I loved Jacob, he still held a place in my heart, a very special
place that I could say I loved him in my own way. He was kind, and wonderful. The thought of breaking his heart, of robbing him
of the chance to love again, crushed me.
Jacob's voice cut through the turmoil in my mind. "I'm not giving up on you. I never will. But I need to let you be to give you the
time and space to figure out what you really want, who you want in your life." His grip on my hand tightened, as though
grounding himself. "And if it's not me, I'll still wait. I'll wait my whole life if that's what it takes, because knowing that I once had
your heart is enough. Even if there's just a sliver of hope that you might come back to me... that's worth it. You are my home.
Whether you are with me or not. Whether you love me or not, or....you have found your home in someone else. I will still keep
waiting."
My throat ached, clogged with sobs fighting to escape, and my emotions were a tangled mess.
I fucking loved this man-loved him so deeply that with every word he spoke, it felt like everything I held dear was slipping away. I
didn't want to feel this way, but it was the only truth I knew. I was nothing without him....
He looked at me like it was the last time, his gaze full of unbearable sadness. Every word, every glance, cut me deeper, and I
wished I could speak, wished I had the words to express how much it hurt. But I didn't. Not a single one.
I felt like the worst person on earth.
"I'm leaving tomorrow," he sniffled, his voice cracking. "But that doesn't mean I've given up on you. My door is never closed to
be waiting for you, he whispered, his voice soft yet unwavering. "I love you."
I love you too.....
Tears spilled down my cheeks, no matter how hard I tried to keep them at bay.
Jacob gave me a sad, bittersweet smile, wiping them away with gentle fingers. "Maybe, just maybe, if you find it in your heart to
want me again come to me. Don't hesitate. You own me. There will never be another woman in my life-only you."
With that, he kissed me softly, a fleeting touch, before taking one last look at my face. Then he walked out of the kitchen, not
sparing a second glance.
As soon as he left, I shattered. My knees buckled, and I collapsed onto the floor, sobs wracking my body. My chest burned, and
my whole body hurt-it wasn't just my heart breaking, it was everything. "Don't go..." The words barely made it past my lips,
drowned in my sobs as I buried my face in my hands. "Please, don't go..."
I wanted so desperately to say those words to him. To tell him I had already forgiven him.
I was dying to be with him again.
But my fears... they held me captive.
I had never been hurt before-not until the man I loved with every fiber of my being shattered me, and broke me in ways I never
imagined. I couldn't bear to be hurt again, but the thought of living without Jacob felt even worse.
And then there was Cameron.
What would he do if I left him?
I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't tear him apart.
Gathering the strength to stand, I wiped away my tears and grabbed the bottle from the kitchen, along with the half-empty glass
Jacob had left behind. It still smelled like him, warm and familiar.
Now, I had one more reason to drink myself to sleep. Because without it, this pain, this mess of conflicting emotions, and my
inability to make a decision-it would all destroy me.
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